疼痛难免

最后一集最后一幕，Adam穿着崭新熨贴的白衬衣，眼睛里也有了光彩，虽然毒舌仍在，但看着不再是前面六集丧到不行的模样。

这一幕之前，是Adam脱掉衣服跳进湖里，想必到最后一幕时，Adam也已经把自己的精神清洗了一遍，he survived.同样在这一幕，Adam再一次“意外”帮助一名车里的产妇接生，但这一次，也是全剧中唯一一次，他的衣服没被弄脏，没有沾上任何不可名状的东西（相比之前的血迹、呕吐物、精液、灰尘等等）。

我想这也暗示着，Adam之后不会像以前那样，轻易深陷环境的淤泥，轻易被周遭污染，甚至被吞噬。

所以，虽然最后一集看得我哭到不行，但我还是被这样的结局轻轻抚慰住了。

然而冷静下来后，我又开始反思自己的“被抚慰”，甚至开始警惕，这样的抚慰来得太容易了，就像Shruti哀悼仪式上那棵弱小的橡树，被随意栽下，日后不久就会被随意践踏。

本篇影评，我试着从Adam和Shruti两个人，慢慢道来我这份矛盾的观后感。

必须在「个体」层面才能理解的Adam有人觉得本剧主cp结局be了，因为Adam最后还是当回了医生。

但我想说，Adam让人讨厌并不是因为他是医生，而仅仅因为他是Adam，所以，我相信Adam和Harry一定会复合（能不能走到最后另说）。

因为Harry爱的，就是作为Adam的Adam，如果不是，那么在Adam当医生这两年里，二人早分手八百次了。

这也是为什么最后一集当Adam兴冲冲地对Harry说自己打算不再做医生了，进而希望二人再尝试一次的时候，Harry反而拒绝了：I don't think it was that simple是的，如果轻易归咎到医生这个职业上，Adam其实还是在逃避自己的性格缺陷，Tracy曾一针见血：如果你恨身边的每一个人，也许你只是恨你自己（if you go round life hating everybody you meet, maybe you hate yourself）Adam是一个无法与自己和平相处的人，他无法诚实地、安然地面对自己，因此也无法坦诚地、友善地面对他人。

他自命不凡，居高临下，以为自己最聪明，以为自己能解决大部分问题（if not all），以为自己很擅长工作……这也是我很佩服编剧的一点，TA要写的并不是一个“和普通人不一样”的主角，TA要写的，就是一个和我们所有人都一样的人，会玩忽职守，会自高自大，会对下属不耐烦，会对上司阿谀奉承，会冷嘲热讽，会懦弱无能，不会做手术就是不会做手术，没有爽文反转，也没有什么天赋异禀。

因此只看第一集的话会很容易弃剧，我看到有一条只给了一星的短评写道：在手术室接电话？

雷死我了。

哈哈不妨对此深究一下。

我们习惯了主角是不一样的，或神神叨叨，或不按常理出牌，在这样的先入为主下，无法接受“在手术室接电话”的背后，其实是对编剧的不满，觉得编剧为了塑造“不一样的”主角人设什么剧情都写得出来。

但编剧写这样的剧情，并不是为了写出Adam的不一样，编剧的本意是想说，对，Adam就是这么一个烂透了的人。

你觉得雷就对了。

但不是编剧雷，是Adam雷。

而身为医生，只不过是把这种性格缺陷放大了。

Harry完全知道这一点，所以他会对Adam说：being a doctor is who you are，扪心自问，你真的想放弃吗？

Adam沉默了：I don't think I can接着Harry抱住他，轻声说了两遍：it's ok呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜还会有比Harry更好的男朋友吗？

不会了，Adam你这个烂人真是走运。

必须在「机制」层面才能理解的ShrutiShruti真的。

这个人物是全剧最沉痛的、最让人意难平的人物。

第六集是Shruti大放异彩的一集，她彻底成长为一个能准确判断、果断行动、拥有丰富临床经验的成熟医生，甚至主角Adam在这一集都只能在她后面打下手，两个人的权力关系瞬间倒置。

但即便如此，这些所谓的“成长”依然没能挽回Shruti。

而我们之所以能把第六集发生的种种，理解为“成长”，是因为我们还属于“正常人”，我们作出的反应是主流价值下的反应。

但Shruti，她早就异化了。

这种异化早有端倪。

还记得那对不幸胎死腹中的黑人夫妇吗，Shruti对他们的安慰是：你们其实不需要把它看成是一个生命，它只是a bunch of cells早在这个时候，Shruti就无法正常感知生命了。

深陷在畸形的NHS下，自身也被压抑到心理扭曲，于是只能用更扭曲的方式拯救（解脱）自己。

但Shruti的异化源于何处？

比如源于她和顾问医生Miss Houghton的那番餐桌谈话，后者的直言不讳和冷酷无情，彻底浇灭了Shruti心底的希望，这些希望甚至还没来得及长出形状。

但还可以追溯得更远一点，因为如果只停留在这里的话，我们还是容易把它归结为工作环境的恶劣，那为什么Adam没有自杀？

为什么Tracy没有自杀？

Adam当然没有自杀，因为他有一个愿意理解自己包容自己的男朋友，因为他更有一个良好的英国中产阶级家庭的主流出身背景。

对比一下Adam和Shruti两个人居住的公寓，看到后者的时候，我忍不住就要落泪。

一张木板床，一张薄床单，床对面就是灶台，从来没有使用过，冰箱空荡荡，只有一盒过期的牛奶，厕所呢，一个杯子一根牙刷，我甚至没看到任何护肤品。

Shruti就是一个底层因素集合体的化身。

也许会有人说，Shruti至少上了大学，踏入了代表精英阶层的医生一职。

但不妨把自己代入Shruti，当你以为自己找到了一条摆脱底层的路，却发现它背后的机制依然畸形残酷，依然牢不可破，这样的打击，往往更甚。

Shruti死于机制的恶，不仅仅是NHS的恶，也是阶层机制的恶，是移民机制，是性别机制的恶。

然而更可怕的是，我们并不是不知道，相反，每个看完本剧的观众都能get到“Shruti死于机制的恶”这句话，但然后呢？

就像Shruti在医院的哀悼仪式，我本以为编剧会在这场戏上安排各种泪点，但实际上这个仪式充满陈词滥调，充满敷衍了事，甚至人们流的眼泪，也只是例行公事。

当Adam鼓起勇气问Miss Houghton，我们是不是应该有个调查之类的东西。

Miss Houghton一如既往不屑一顾的样子，那你应该去政府部门工作。

Adam立马怯懦了，what do we do now, then?well, we all toddle off back to work, don't we?这就是Shruti的然后。

可悲吗？

可悲。

真实吗？

真实。

但，就这样吗？

这就是我为什么会警惕自己被结局“抚慰”了的原因——因为这种“抚慰”，来自个人精神的刷新，而不是来自机制的变革。

这一个Adam改变了，但下一个Shruti呢？

我不得不承认，这个电视剧其实最后也自我放弃了，停留在新自由主义的解决方案上。

本剧前面铺垫的对环境机制的批判精神，最后也不过沦为了大众文化的消费品。

最后。

看到一个影评说本剧的中文翻译“疼痛难免”不是很好，没有力度，建议改成“疼痛难忍”，直面剧中展现出的种种“疼痛”。

但我觉得“疼痛难免”很恰当，自嘲得很恰当。

难免嘛。

冲着本喵和喜剧的标签看完剧，结果整个人陷入了重重的抑郁情绪。

这实在是非常优秀的一部作品：扎实的制作，优秀的演绎，用心的细节，严肃的话题碰撞上英剧独特的黑色幽默，真的让人很难不打高分。

不长不短的7集，通过Adam为首的各位医护人员在妇产科经历的一个个小故事其实是在对整个NHS完成了泣血的控诉又表达了深深的无奈。

医护人员一边要背负起高负荷的工作强度，还要各自在学术专业上不断深耕完成自己的成长，同时还要承担起自己工作失误所带来的不可估量的后果以及由此而来的心理压力，然而工作环境和待遇却又难以得到改善。

这种渡劫磨难式的职业道路真的有太多的不合理和不人道。

但转向患者方面，他们在病痛之中仍在面临漫长的等待，糟糕的就诊环境和医疗体验。

这种现有公共医疗环境下医患的全方面的冲突真的让人深感无力，无可奈何。

其实不仅仅是NHS，放眼全世界，大多数国家的公共医疗体系都面临着同样的问题。

不然也就不会有那么多在等待中错失治疗机会的新西兰患者，也不会有日韩的研修医高自杀率，更不会有国内这么多的伤医事件。

说到底，每个国家能够提供各公共医疗的资源仍然是太有限了：越来越高的医学生培养成本，日益增多的患者数量，不断紧缩的财政分配，这似乎就是一盘无解的棋局。

很有感触的一个情节是第6集关于私立医院和公立医院的对比。

NHS这边忙到医生随时可以崩溃患者无法收治，一边私立医院每个病患超大的病房度假般的体验。

这真是资本的力量和阶级的差异的极好的现实描画。

所以你看， 底层人民的种种冲突对于高收入人群而言仿佛并不存在。

放在国内其实情况也很类似，我们的医保体系和一线的临床医生的环境其实也并没什么太大不同。

去年因为生病需要做一个特别的住院治疗，北京的几家公立医院都要排队五个月以上，而且只有小破的三人间；私立医院却能随时安排住院，还是星级酒店一样的独立病房。

公立可以走医保，私立全自费，加上服务费等等两者费用差了四倍多吧…当时也是很感慨钱的重要性，想要吐槽命运的不公平的同时却又不得不承认这便是现实，因为这也有他符合市场规律的合理性。

而另一方面，Adam说私立医院有最漂亮的吊灯，但NHS能救你的命。

某种意义上也确实是这样吧。

私立医院用高额的费用换来了更加优秀的服务体验，然而同时又因为私立医院的医疗资源存量和医院体量的原因在发生小概率/高复杂度紧急事件时很难很好的应对。

同样是去年见证的事，一个私立医院的一个骨科小手术，发生了紧急麻醉事故，患者就这么没了，要实在公立大三甲其实应该还是能救回来的…所以又一次感受到了这个世界的荒谬…说到底，私立医院的存在是靠市场规律来平衡公立医疗资源的稀缺性，但两种体质各有优劣，最终到每个患者，只要医疗资源本身的稀缺性没有改变，其实这一切仍然是没有绝对最优解的啊…剧中Adam的形象非常鲜活，在于他并不是一个完美的人，他也会犯错，他也有私心，他本性善良却也有恶的念头。

他是个救人性命的英雄的同时，也是个无法平衡工作和私欲的普通人。

他为了自己的误诊而懊恼，为了患者离世而悲伤，却也惧怕投诉会让他丢掉工作，甚至会用些小手段。

也很喜欢Adam和Harry的对手戏，Adam内心的挣扎和脆弱都在Harry面前被小心的隐藏又被无情的暴露。

这段感情温暖却不能对等，坚定却又非常脆弱，让人叹息可也惹人羡慕。

剧集呈现给我们的就是这么一个个鲜活而真实的年轻人的形象，而不是在一味的造神或造抓马，这也是它吸引人的原因之一吧。

Adam最爱说I'm Fine，其实大家都知道当你用fine这个词来形容与自己相关事情的时候，基本就是not fine了。

很多年前的电影就告诉过我们I'm fine means I'm "Fucked Up/Freaked Out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional". 一点不假。

Adam又用他的故事再次演绎了这个解释…剧集在最后用Adam的崩溃和Shruti的自尽完成了对NHS的控诉，又在湖中的对话中完成了Adam对他自己医生这个职业选择的正当化和救赎。

现在的我们其实都忘了，“医生”终究也只是人，是人就会有犯错误的时候，是人就有能力的极限。

不是所有的疾病都能被治好，不是所有的治疗都是简单的打针吃药。

真实的人生里疼痛难免，真实的医疗也只能做到偶尔治愈。

特别是在医疗资源的稀缺性无法被解决的当下时代，让我们都看清现实，多几分理解吧。

This is going to hurt，hurt的不仅是患者，还有医生。

不同的是患者可能一生hurt这一次或几次，医生却要一直忍受某种痛苦，困在医院走廊、消毒水味、鲜血、生命和死亡里。

一开始看到shruti下班“sorry I really tried”那里还以为考试其实没通过（再次意识到自己的做题家思维，只能理解不通过考试的自杀，不能理解通过考试的自杀），后来发现shruti其实已经通过考试了才恍然大悟。

Be careful what u wish for，当你设定了你的true calling，当你用所有的过去、现在、未来的规划为其准备，然后你发现你命定的道路上——实习生、实习医生、咨询医生，你、五年后的你、十五年后的你，都困在同样的痛苦里。

当你发现你给自己订购了一个四十年期的地狱。

什么还能留下你？

而且最messed up的点在于，你痛苦的根源正是你慰藉的根源，你慰藉的根源也正是你痛苦的根源。

Shruti在奶酪店被接生过的病人家属认出，却无法真心地take the credit for it，因为你一旦爱生命、爱帮助他人的感觉，不把婴儿当做a bunch of cells而是真正地爱TA们，你就要预见到下一次失手的时候自己将要承受的无尽的痛苦。

所有的慰藉都是预付的货物，时间到了，又有血泪要偿。

日日如此。

这也是为什么妇产科是existential crisis的关键切入口，“生死疲劳”，在夜以继日的折磨里，人类依然本能地受苦、挣扎、分娩、延续。

疼痛难免，活着的人继续啜饮生活的苦味然后生生不息，在习惯中前进，哭笑、流血、降生，等待死去。

How gender politics evacuates in This is going to hurt --By Adam kay. BBC series This is going to hurt adapted by the same name book written by formal gynae senior doctor Adam kay captured every audience member’s empathy as soon as it was released.Here are some issues we may draw attention in terms of racial and sexism content (racism patient refuse to accept Pakistani doctor and black midwife) of modern British society, domestic violence, and the homophobic content. Among those crucially provocative issues, my point of interest focuses on the discourses of male entitlement including Toxic Masculinity and male empowerment and the female representation of pregnancy stigma. Introduction: In traditional media representation, Males are more likely to be portrayed as aggressive, argumentative, and competitive. Females are more likely to be described as affectionate, emotionally expressive, passive, and tender. The old binary opposition which put femininity at one end of the political spectrum and feminism at the other is no longer an accurate way of conceptualizing female experience. Gender segregation now by itself becomes a power mechanism. Representation of male privilege within the ‘female’ spaces.Center stage problem, center stealing and Overconfidence: In the first episode of this is going to hurt, by saying “I am the most senior doctor here. I am running this ward now and it’s up to me.” Adam attempts to entitle and empower his social identity. This action gets denied immediately by the black midwife leader Tracy by saying “I am running this ward, young man. I am more than capable, and I am handing myself.” The power dynamic is being shifted abruptly and making Adam look small in his position by the next sequence of reverse shots which kind of foreshadows the MacGuffin for Adam in the next chapter (who is the complainer about him to GMC). Psychological or personal entitlement refers to one’s sense of deservingness. Entitlement reflects the belief that a person deserves a set of outcomes because of who they have done. Men give higher estimates of their ability than do women, and men’s self-estimates tend to be independent of their actual ability. On cognitive tests, for instance, men give themselves higher ratings than their actual performance merits, whereas women tend to have a more realistic appraisal of their own performance. When those who are used to being at the center of everything important in society are moved from the center, however briefly, group members experience a threat and therefore are motivated to re-assert their privilege which feels natural, comfortable, and the natural order of things. Members of dominants groups assume that their perceptions are the pertinent ones, that their problems are the ones that need to be addressed, and that in discourse they should be the speaker rather than the listener. Male entitlement: hegemonic masculinity, perceptions of male marginalization and Sanction authority of the white male doctors. Hegemonic masculinity extensively critiqued the male sex role literature and proposed a model of multiple masculinities and power relations. In turn, this model was integrated into a systematic sociological theory of gender. The defense of hegemonic masculinity is usually done quietly through institutions. For example, when Adam’s best friend Greg introduces a bunch of guys to a female strip club as his own bachelor party, by enforcing all the male members of the group into a solid clan in which all the discrimination towards women is generally acceptable, they enhance their hegemonic masculinity mechanism. On overt masculinity politics emerges that exalts men’s power and opposes feminism and by obeying all the criteria and principals within the convention of hegemonic masculinity, anything opposite that is impossibly inclusive such as homosexuality. For Judith Butler, nonetheless, Gender and sex were nothing more than cultural constructions.So, in episode two of This is going to hurt, when Adam and his partner Henry finish the dinner with the couple Greg and his fiancée, by saying “Greg’s life seems settled and normal.” Adam refuses to accept his own feeling of belongingness by admitting Greg’s heterosexual normativity and denying his own sexual performativity. Heteronormativity is the idea that heterosexual attraction and relationships are the normal form of sexuality. It is rooted in a linked essential, dichotomous understanding of sexuality and gender and the perception that these things are fixed and unchanging. The construction of gender identities is produced through repetitive performance of behaviors, physical stylistic expressions, without which the binary distinction has no sense. The instability of the relationship between sex and gender attest to the performative nature of identity. By denying the homosexual identity and relationships with community, it defines the heterosexuality as natural and the norm. It enacts the heterogeneity of drives through the proliferation and destruction of univocal signification. This could be regarded as the primitive origin of homophobic performativity which is unforgivably toxic. Meanwhile, by denying men’s approach to vulnerability, the dichotomous binary mechanism is constructed by itself. When in episode three Adam’s partner Henry asks about his situation by saying “I know something is up for you”, he shows his concern and sentimentality towards Adam but at the same time, Adam refuses to tell Henry about the medical negligence. When Henry says, “let me in, let me know what is going on in there”, the director uses a lot of over the shoulder shots of Henry over Adam and Adam’s singular medium close-up shots in the continuity editing to illustrate Adam’s interior emotional turbulence. Here, again as audience we can perceive that Adam is going through a tremendously traumatized internal journey without letting Henry be aware of it. When Adam says to his eight-five-year-old polish patient Mrs. Winnicka, ‘I used to reckon I was good at medicine but bad at other stuff. Not great either right now’, he finally acknowledges his vulnerability and weakness by admitting that it is inappropriate using his medical knowledge as a mechanism of generating power entitlement in public medical sphere.Afterwards, when the consultant of the hospital Mr. Lockhart warns Adam by saying ‘shits happen, you can’t let yourself fell it all.’ Which becomes the last front line that block Adam to break down. In this way, toxic masculinity principals are transmitted among generations by denying the plausibility of showing men’s sensibility and sentimentality. The death of Mrs. Winnicka in some level serves as a dramatic impulse and plot motivation to imply Adam’s collapsing point in the next chapter. The whole narrative does not approach sexual masculinity issue by telling the storyline itself, but this is still deserved to be regarded as Toxic Masculinity related issue because by enhancing that masculinity is strong, tough, and natural while femininity is weak, vulnerable, and artificial, it proliferates the conception of binary construction even among people who believe that women and men are equals. So, the people understand masculinity as the drive for power, domination, and control. If any social representation and public behavior demonstrate that it is acceptable for men to be fragile, it breaks down the whole dichotomous structure where masculinity is an experience to entitle power and female body is naturally entitled with the responsibility to give birth. The process of moral regulation through discourse makes ontological and epistemological promises of a particular and historical form of social order natural. In this process of resonating binary structure, discourse of ideal pregnancy must be understood as situated moral constructs, which regulate women’s maternal experiences, expressions, and responsibilities. Our collective fear of dangers has forced us into a position where we have created a theory from the body of damage done to us in terms of masochism but expediency. Particularization and negotiation:By representing the voices of women and ethnic others as normal, they become possible objects of identification for men. Particularizing may also be carried out by representing what men do as being particular and only representing a certain social group of men, that is denying them the right to represent the universal any more than women do. In the episode six, when Doctor Shruti meets up with her subordinate junior locum doctor—a tall young white guy who seems very boyish and innocently naïve, the cinematographer opens with a medium profile shot by moving the camera around to the side and subsequently reversing the over-the shoulder shot towards the young man functioning as emphasizing how small the young white apprentice is and empowering Doctor Shruti. Intriguingly, in the next sequence, when the junior doctor stands up and looks down Shruti by saying to Shruti ‘are you one of the midwives, love?’ and Shruti replies by saying ‘I am actually your boss, love.’ We see how the whole power dynamic is solidly constructed. And in the next theater operation scene, the apprentice directly faints during surgery because of witnessing huge amount of blood. While Shruti calmly completes the mission with her intellectual background and wisdom. From here, we notice that the relationship shot in any power dynamic constructing scenario is ought to be established on the figure situated in a weaker position so the power dynamic can be shifted by the reverse shots. If we compare this scenario with the former scenario where Shruti was subordinated towards Adam, we can reach on an undeniable conclude that gender is nothing more than a social construction. Judith Butler defines gender as the consequence of reiterated acts or practices, even if there is a contradiction or instability between their biological sex and their gendered actions. Through gender performativity, one may cause themselves to shape their desire. Gender is performative which means we are not acting it like in a performance but rather constructing it. In the episode four of This is going to hurt, when being asked about his fiancée by his subordinate college Shruti, Adam corrects her spelling as a male version fiancé by saying ‘My alpha male demeanor clearly threw you off the scent ’which is kind of an ironic sarcasm for stereotypes towards queer male intellectuals in social sphere. As For Foucault, an ethical sensibility is a process of constant experimentation and reappraisal, in which new experiences are integrated, and reflection helps determine future actions. From this perspective, if any newly liberal social order is trying to be reached out, we must aspire to building processes of socialization of the new generations within a framework of gender sensitivity where the culture of peace prevails over violence without discrimination, establishing relations of equality and justice, not only in the rights recognized by states among their citizens, but also in daily life, in schools, workplaces and within governments. How those female representations subordinated to Adam are used to consolidate his power in privilege. Firstly: Racial issue: In the first episode of This is going to hurt, the Woman in labor is more comfortable with a Cis gendered white man delivering their baby instead of a black midwife which is particularly bizarre. Again here, black women are unempowered by others. This phenomenon is repeated in the next theater scenario when the white woman in caesarean is unwilling to let the Pakistan origin doctor Shruti to hold her newborn baby. It’s quite intriguing that even though the racial discrimination is clear, the racist herself refuses to admit the offensive fact. However fortunately, the establishing process of the characteristics of the character black midwife leader Tracy is being achieved by performative narrative. When consultant of the hospital Mr. Lockhart asks her why not put the alarm sector issue at the list, she answers him by saying “would you like me to take off the list to make time?” which is a very directly confronting way and reveals that she might be the real ‘assassin’ to kill Adam’s obsessive delusion. The second part: empower shifted. In the episode four when Adam faces in front of his senior consultant obstetrician Mrs. Houghton, he is asked to buy coffee for the team crew which was exactly what he urged his junior subordinate Shruti to do in the last chapter. By saying ‘why don’t you get around coffees in.’ Doctor Houghton empowers herself and underpowers Adam. In the next sequence, by saying ‘I wonder if you might allow me to perhaps do the caesarean.’ Adam puts himself in a weakening position of this power dynamic shifting relationship. Actor Ben Whishaw dissimulates Adam’s penance and awkwardness by a series of body gestures which is a real verisimilitude spectacular for the viewers. The formulaic onscreen depictions are limited along gender and racial lines emasculate the universal female experience of adulthood tragically. This demonstrates their success and respectability within the white dominated literary space. If we compare Shruti, Tracy and Doctor Houghton’s identity, we can see more clearly the distinction between their different representations. Embodiment and representation of Womanhood pregnancy stigma. The issue crucially being concerned about This is going to hurt is the women in labor. How they look life, how they feel and why this show is so cruel to our audiences. And, how those female patients around Doctor Adam enhance their feminized statement. Part of the complexity of misogyny is that women can be punished for stepping outside bounds of femininity, and for residing within those boundaries.In the episode five of This is going to hurt, when doctor shruti tells this middle-aged couple about the implausibility of being parents by saying ‘you only got one percent change to be successfully pregnant.’ We can see the agony and disappointment expressed by the wife’s face not by the husband. And, when we see the frame and composition of this reverse shot, the camera attempts to focus on captivating the woman’s facial expression. All the narrative in this dramatic space emphasizes how suffocating and struggling it is for women to accept the impossibility of being pregnant. The woman’s body, with its potential for gestating, bringing forth and nourishing new life, has been through the ages a field of contradictions: a space invested with power, and an acute vulnerability, a numinous figure, and the incarnation of evil, a hoard of ambivalences, most of which have worked to disqualify women from the collective act of defining culture. The pregnant woman is not identified as a sole entity, but as one figure in the interrelation between mother and child. The pregnant woman is subordinated to the interests of her unborn child. Women are simultaneously assigned to a passive role, as recipients of care and containers for their infants. Also in the episode five, when Doctor Adam operates a surgery for this nineteen-year-old girl to fix her vulva self-damage. It shows us the destructiveness and cruelty the performative normality and social constrictions have done to a young girl. Pregnancy is simultaneously one of the most embodied of human experiences and one of the most discursively regulated. The disciplinary power of discourse lies in producing types of knowledges and making specific kinds of subjectivities socially viable. The mother child dynamic is set up as the ultimate paradigm of the natural caring relationship, and therefore as the ultimate paradigm of all social relations. The mother child dyad is not seen as a particular social and cultural construct, nor is any consideration given to the fact that an ethics of caring may not be an appropriate approach to all forms of social interaction. Possibility of womanhood as a complex and idealized conjunction of a multiplicity of female identities: sexual, domestic, and so on, as a palliative for the narrative’s frequent focus on the question of women’s incompatible social roles. The narrative mode in This is going to hurt by only showing pregnant women condition in public sphere offers an idealized vision of family life and working motherhood. Through its blurring of the boundaries between home vibe and public vibe, it undermines patriarchal capitalism, a system which insists on keeping separate, gendered, and differently valued the two independent atmospheres. The distinction and conflict between public and private and feminist and feminine identities is irrevocably integrated. For example, when Shruti found out domestic violence track of a female pregnant patient from her bruises in arms and shoulders, she immediately took action to rescue the situation. However, when the dramatic complicity is reached out on climax, the midwife Tracy tells Shruti that we still are uncapable to do anything when the patient suffering from domestic violence confronts the same situation in her own house in the future. From here, we are aware that social resources are limited when intervening family issue. How can we change the traditional male approach to international politics by the re-traditionalization of gender.Paternalistic patriarchy.In the early capitalist regions of England and elsewhere, the putting out system, where urban capitalists employed rural households for parts of the production process, led to a strengthening of an archaized version of male household power, which in turn, paradoxically, turned women into a main production force in the early industrial revolution. The putting-out system was formal factorization, while industry make it a reality- outside the home, for the first time outside the reach of reproduction activity logic and rationale. The fact that the paternalistic framework differed from the male/female, production/reproduction-like spontaneous ideas of gender in our time has been underscored of intimacy and the body survived long into the modern age. The Paternalistic stereotypes contribute to justifying and maintaining a social system of gender inequality. There are gender stereotypes not merely descriptive but prescriptive, expressing expectations about how women ought to be. It assumes that women are weak, fragile, and incompetent, women who are subjected to benevolent sexism view themselves as less competent; such women are viewed by others as less competent; moreover, women who reject benevolent sexism are viewed as ungracious and cold. Attributions of non-traditional women’s supposed lack of warmth further serve to rationalize acts of discrimination. In political terms, paternalistic patriarchy was dismantled by democratic movements mainly among men, including the bourgeois revolutions that symbolically and sometimes literally cut off the heads of the old order. It is misleading to say that masculinity became more democratic, since what was involved was the fabrication or factorization of a new sense of identity. Equating difference with inequality provides men with an instrument to use violence against women when other forms of control no longer suffice. Collaboration and interdisciplinary exchange are key factors in terms of inclusiveness. In Foucault’s work, the idea of technologies of the self is part of an attempt to formulate a view of subjectivity that explains how individuals must draw on available discourses, and yet can act autonomously. Judith Butler is concerned with the production of subjectivity within the processes performatively through the repetition of given signs and norms. According to Foucault, agency should be located within the possibility of a variation on the repetition of norms and conceptualized in terms of a taking up of tools where the very taking up is enabled by the tools lying there. From this perspective, agency can be seen as self-reflexive adoption of a specific discourse, and we can extend this to kinds of acts which sartorial choices and uses of media technologies might indicate. Conclusion: Agency in post feminism: Post feminism is a set of ideologies, strategies, and practice that marshal liberal feminist discourses such as freedom, choice, and independence, and incorporate them into a wide array of media, merchandising, and consumer participation whose dynamic is a paradoxical double movement where the dissemination of discourses about freedom and equality functions as a hegemonic strategy to dilute those very politics, providing the context for the retrenchment of gender and gendered relations. The post in post feminism represents not only a temporality, or a backlash against feminism, but also a sensibility; core features of post feminism included an emphasis on individualism, choice, and agency, a resistance to interrogating structural gendered inequalities, and a renewed focus on a woman’s body as a site of liberation. Post feminism responds to a history of feminisms that have directly challenged media representations of women and the commodification of gender, and have focused on social realms including legal discourse, politics, and education. This post feminism sensibility authorized the individualism of women more than anything else, celebrating a kind of gendered freedom from both patriarchy and feminism, whereby women are apparently free to become all they want to be. Indeed, post feminism is enabled by a neoliberal capitalist context, where values such as entrepreneurialism, individualism, and the expansion of capitalist markets are embraced and adopted by women to craft their selves. Ultimately, abdication by feminist theory from the task of proposing a critical perspective on the authenticity of our felt needs and demands means that it necessarily remains locked into a legitimation of present social relations as offering the most appropriate management of needs spawned by it. Television has been historically and pejoratively constructed as a feminine medium. It is useful to contextualize such journalistic accounts of the perceived female takeover of television and discourses of the feminization of television with reference to the narratives of female success, empowerment and mobility that were circulating in the wider culture. Attendant process of detraditionalization and individualization have particularly destabilizing effects on key abstract collective categories and forms of modernity such as class, gender, identity. However, such postfeminist narratives and signs of female choice and empowerment, held up as marking the successes of feminism, betray the extent to which they simultaneously mark its incorporation, revision and depoliticization. Gendered hierarchies are reinstated through new subtle forms of resurgent patriarchal power. The characteristics associated with the feminine, including: the predominance of surface, simulation, and masquerade; the authority of the consumer; and a dedifferentiation of the social, involving a domestication of the public sphere, are understood to be the dominant aesthetics and practices of consumer culture. Gendered metaphors of television are also classifying metaphors in which the female viewer is once more constructed as the possessor the naïve gaze of mass consumerist culture against which the knowing gaze of the middle-class critic is constructed. Even though shifts are taking place regarding gender in contemporary culture, there is a need to be cautious of overstating the gains and freedoms open to women in the reflexive, post-traditional and post-feminist context of late modernity. There process fosters a reconfiguration of these central categories such as class, gender, and sexuality. This reconfiguring process is illustrated precisely by the reflection upon women’s liberation from the rules and norms of traditional gendered discourses wherein liberal feminist values should have been felt to become a common sense across culture landscape. References: Male roles, masculinities, and violence: a culture of peace perspectiveBreines, Ingeborg; Connell, Raewyn; Eide, Ingrid; UNESCO; Expert Group Meeting on Male Roles and Masculinities in the Perspective of a Culture of Peace. This is going to hurt: secret diaries of a junior doctor. Adam Kay. Men who hate women: from Incels to pick up artists: the truth about extreme misogyny and how it affects us all. –LAURA BATES. EVERYDAY SEXISM—LAURA BATES. Modern misogyny. Anti-feminism in a post-feminist era. Kristin j. Anderson. New femininities: post feminism, neoliberalism, and subjectivity. Edited by Rosalind Gill and Christina Scharff. Foucault and Feminism. --Lois Mcnay.Interrogating post feminism: gender and politics of popular culture, Yvonne Tasker and Diane Negra, editors. The history of sexuality volume 4: confessions of the flesh. –Michel Foucault. Dude, you are a fag: masculinity and sexuality in high school. –Pascoe, C.J. University of California Press.

第一集亚当真的好惨，就是社畜的那种无奈痛苦都让他体现的淋漓尽致了。

但是他人真的挺好的。

虽然同事不领情但还是在帮他。

而且他还让实习小医生学习，他的男朋友也真的有点点可怜，但是两个人之间的感情和氛围还是好好，但是这个手术的血腥程度……我还在吃饭，虽然我最近在减肥，但是我看到这个场面是真的吃不下饭。

随机吓死一个未婚未育女大学生。

他给小宝宝道歉的时候好戳我。

第二集这个棉条丢肚子里是真的会笑，甘医生真的要有好强的心理能力呀，犯错的时候真的会心里过意不去。

一直忏悔，一直忏悔。

他每天的这个生活也太崩溃了。

男友哈利还要亲亲。

他抱着男朋友真的好苏啊and还玩贪吃蛇，一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳。

有一次失误真的。

总是把病往大了想，小不往小了想。

虽然他对老太太嘴很毒，但是他对他人还是挺好。

还给他买威士忌。

他妈妈这个催婚真的是有够可以的。

还在和那个25周的小宝宝说话诶。

这个小宝宝要是没了，他也就碎了。

太咄咄逼人的人，我真的想上去就给她两巴掌。

真的是只有最亲近的把你放到心上的人，会最先发现你的反常，去想着靠近你，温暖你。

亚当的男朋友就是这样一个角色。

我真的好心疼他俩。

原来他是给他织的，我真的我哭死。

我的亲娘呀！

我真的会笑死这个。

求婚这个戒指这个也太奇葩了。

这样大的精神压力真的不会精神错乱吗？

他对抽烟这个事情也太不熟悉了吧。

我真的要笑死了。

他真的好惨，人家这个痛经，我真的我心疼他，两极反转！

真不错，嘿嘿。

他真的是个老好人了。

还真不知道是表扬还是批评呢？

这个照片墙是真的壮观。

果然是批评他，我真的心碎。

他还给那个小宝宝缝了小袜子，真的会炸这种情况。

谁爱你，你在谁的面前就更脆弱。

一个No让我呆了第三集他真的每天都急哄哄的。

男朋友真的想杀了她的心都有了，人下半场都开了。

他真的我哭死。

他好勇，这个应该是他爸妈吧，这个本的表现才是正常的喜欢一个女生的表现。

发现这个家暴警示贴我之前刷到过，我觉得这个真的是很有必要，点赞！

我爸是医生，哈哈哈。

他妈真的好嚼毛。

这种妈妈真的挺让人窒息的。

他已经把这个事情当做一个非常重要的事情。

在和最亲近的人分享。

摆明了自己的态度。

但是他妈妈还是在顾左右而言他。

我真的服了，她是怎么问出你们俩都是gay这种话的？

就应该直接说我们要结婚。

亚当真的压力好大。

我好喜欢这个慵懒温暖的音乐。

这个小护士好好，她也是放不下患者。

女人的直觉是真的准。

你今天过的怎么样？

还行，谢谢。

真的很心碎啊。

这个女的就惦记着吃她的胎盘，我真服了。

他这身西装又是个完，我的天呐，我会把刚才吃进去的饭吐出来的，好难过呀，好难过呀，好难过呀，只有这个老太太还能和他聊聊天。

两个人开开玩笑。

没想到她竟然自己签署了不抢救的协议书。

我感觉他真的都要哭了，昨天这个老太太还跟他说。

要及时道歉，不然后悔的时候人已经不在了。

还说六个月给她换一次，她的内心还是想让亚当换的，真的好难过啊，他这个演技也是真的挺厉害的，我看着都忍不住想哭，这个家暴男一把搂住这个小护士的时候，我真的觉得好可怕。

我觉得下一秒他会把她摔到墙上，他还想去参加这个患者的葬礼呢，他只想她的葬礼上有熟悉的面孔，他们真的是处成朋友了。

他好机敏啊！

瞬间就能察觉到不对，但是这回又要得罪老板了。

他这小体格真的打不过这男的。

我真的笑死了，我真的，这是我们新翻修的产房哈哈哈哈哈哈哈还不如不看呢。

他这个笑好可爱。

他把这个患者的这个名字改成去他*的，真的太可爱了哈哈哈哈哈。

这种现状也让人很难过，努力了半天，最终的结果就是孕妇是没有办法脱离这个家庭。

而且还得带着一个孩子。

迎接她的会是更过分更残忍的家暴。

Will you marry me?Of coursei will. 好美好的话，虽然第一次在墓园里边儿看这种的。

第四集这个胖胖的女人真的每一句话里都有f--k我真的讨厌她，还是个主任医师，没有医德，这个母亲傻傻的，自食其果听起来这个词不怎么样，真的在这种情况下真的要紧张的要死，这个破医院就会做表面功夫。

亚当心里这道坎儿不知道啥时候才能过得去。

一定要活下来，一定要活下来，我的天。

真棒👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻他俩好甜好甜！

嘿嘿，知错就改的小狗。

他俩真的好像小猫和小狗，小猫好有仪式感，他记着相爱的证据，好浪漫啊～请就这样幸福下去！！

真的是群魔乱舞啊，亚当还是真的难以融入这样欢脱的气氛，如果你一直讨厌生活中的所有人，那可能是你讨厌自己，他俩好温馨好幸福好浪漫，懂得互相迁就互相包容互相理解，在酒吧跳双人舞美好！

第五集订婚没有好盆友去好难过啊，难过，这小护士压力也好大！

他好崩溃啊，这个和他一直不对付的黑人医生还挺好的，亚当真的是一个有医德的人，他还担心这这个女孩的心理健康，还帮她找医生，这个心理医生真的不咋地，我真的服了，一点悲悯之心都没有，小护士麻木了，亚当的精神已经有问题了我觉得，心疼他，好可爱呀小两口。

亚当好失落，最好的朋友因为他的工作性质不让他当伴郎，我真的哭死😭，他对我来说很完美，我真的为美好爱情狂笑，他这个精神恍惚体现出了他最害怕的事，唉，爱人之间就要交流啊，他爸就像个背景板。

没有办法说谁不对，这个讲话是真的很悲伤😞。

我心疼小狗🐕哈利，哭哭，难过了，悲伤了。

第六集亚当的妈妈真是不停的给亚当洗脑，可爱的亚当被这样的豪华单间震到了，还只有一位病人，这两边的对比真的是太强烈了，亚当像是在度假，小护士像是在渡劫，女强人啊，好爽。

我真的服了，晕血？？？

这男的来当医生？？？

小哈利真的像小狗儿。

亚当真是说话带刺儿啊。

怎么还有双性人？

我的天。

这家医院很幸运能拥有你。

心疼小护士。

我真的要笑死了，刚和哈利分手，真的还有人来勾搭他。

但是这个服务员这个眼神是真的灵。

他不会是偷偷安了gay达吧？

我……会谢！！！！

我的CP，我心痛啊心痛(◍•﹏•)，哎，哎，哎，这不正好和中国的思想对上了吗？

饱暖思淫欲。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，没想到吧我就是公立医院的医生。

宫外孕好可怕，我的天呐，这两边都是两条人命。

希望大家都好好的。

她说和最后一个患者，真的是一直在暗示，一直在表达，但是没有人注意到，I'm sorry ，I really did try.他和盆友的妻子和解真是好事。

真的好悲伤好难过好痛苦好无助。

第七集我真服了这个不负责的醉汉。

这个朱利安还是挺好的，追悼会，让人难过的词，他们为她种了一棵树，但是时间流逝，人们会慢慢忘记给它浇水，最后它也会死去。

他这个老板真不叫人，我跟你说。

小狗真是及时雨，小猫需要倾诉心事，他在努力挽回小狗。

天呐，这个杯子，扎心了。

这个肩难产好可怕，母爱是伟大的。

最好的朋友都是在互怼，他想起了之前的小护士，所以多了耐心和同理心，他以他的好朋友为纪念，也是警示。

他妈妈真的给他好大压力，感觉就是想让他和更高阶级的人在一起，不考虑他真正的幸福感受，但是从她的角度来说又是为了儿子。

小猫好期待小狗，他对朋友的妻子还是很关心的。

喝酒🍺想小狗🐕，好好宝贝的小脚丫好可爱，嘿嘿，要和好了吗？

每三个星期就有一个医生自寻短见，这真的是让人难过的数据，医者仁心，希望一切都好！

期待第二季

决定结束一切的那天Shruti很好地处理了工作中的问题，得到了同乡、主管医生和Adam的认可，通过了考试，完成了从菜鸟实习生到能独当一面的专业医生的蜕变。

不论是从剧情发展还是人物自身的成长，关于Shruti的故事都达到了高潮，然后她下坠了，在对着镜头说“I am sorry,l really did try.”之后。

Shruti不是懦夫，她不是在用结束一切逃避困难的考试或者是人生的其他困难，她是有能力去面对困难并解决困难的人，她就像最后父母、同事赞美的那样优秀，并且她自己也很清楚这一切。

与一开始学到任何新东西都会雀跃不已的Shruti相比，现在的她如同上了发条的机械一样麻木，在耗尽能量之前完成工作，不知道怎么和父母谈论自己的真实生活，尝试与对她有意思的同事约会也无果，情感已经被高速轮转的工作吞噬殆尽了。

如果说Shruti有什么人生愿望清单，我想在此刻她已经勾画完成了上面的所有项目，并且她可以预见，余生不过是在疲惫中日复一日地重复着几个月，没有好转，没有尽头。

那么在此刻终结也未尝不可。

伤痕累累的Shruti以她的方式与这个积重难返的体系同归于尽，完成仅几个人可见的爆炸，燃尽她生命的最后一点星火。

每次Adam和Harry同框的时候总是会有我大英伦摇滚响起hhh，虽然已经有人开贴但是我觉得老是回复人家很麻烦所以写一篇自己存着看。

肉耳识曲，听的不多，欢迎补充首先是第二集开头，Libertines的Music When the Lights Go Out，这里应该是原曲，前奏一响起我就燃起来了。

然后第三集有一首翻唱的Bowie的Let‘s Dance，非常平缓，soothing同时悲伤着。

本来原曲感觉是非常振奋人心的（怎么说，挺词不达意的，可以说是optimistic和energetic的？

），但考虑到Adam在工作上真的难免受挫疼痛，我认为这里这样处理很合适。

第四集两人出舞池，响起Zombies的The Way I Feel Inside…感觉Adam就是这样吧，外冷内热，他对病人（或者是“客户”，哈哈）有真正的关心与热忱，对爱人Harry也很真诚。

只是英国人嘛，总是有点绕着说，到了Adam这儿就变成了一些傲娇。

但在晚餐时他不再继续以前死板的“Well work is fine…”，而是愿意向Harry分享工作上的事情…“I would want to say the things I want to say tonight…”这首的歌词真的很适合与人距离感极强的Adam啊两人共舞，是否就是呼应了前面的Music…和Let's Dance呢，哈哈哈

很有意思，在展示Adam和Harry的温馨场面后，镜头总会切向Adam的同事们：Let‘s Dance后，镜头一转到了深夜复习的Shruti；二人共舞后，镜头转向Tracy的家庭生活&Shruti…

这时候事情也是出现了转机吧，尽管事业不顺、失去亦友的病人，但也有好事发生…这就是医生吧第五集，Adam遭到同事投诉，情感也面临窘迫之境，A与H坐在车上，响起Yeah Yeah Yeahs 的Modern Romance。

“Don’t hold on/Go get strong/Well don’t you know/There’s no modern romance…”但我认为两人的感情不应该就这样断了。

把一切讲明，也许需要在生活与事业中做出抉择，也许需要放弃其一，也许能勉强维持，也许一无所获。

第六集，Adam和Harry分开（暂时？

），Adam去私立医院代班，响起Pulp的Born to Cry。

我就想喊一声：shite不要对他这么差好不好。

歌词如下：That coat that I gave you, All shiny and black, I'm sorry my darling, But I'm taking it back.I don't want to spoil the party, But I've got to go home, You can stay if you want to, If you want to sleep alone, Some are born to greatness, Some are born to die, Never knowing the difference, Never knowing why, Some are born to change the world, Some never even try, But darling, you and IWe were born to cry. 这不就是engagement party（现在不能叫这个了）后Adam的写照吗…他的善良与热心在冰冷的医疗体制被磨灭，无法做出“改变世界”此等壮举。

而之前Adam也在与朋友聊天中袒露：“也许我注定要一个人”…这首歌总之是配得极好，同时真的很能渲染那种超级悲伤无助的感觉了…镜头转到Shruti，医疗考试、父母期待、工作负压将要将她压垮然后响起一首Fuck This（对不起这首我怎么识别也找不出来…但是你英国人配乐有必要这么贴切么真的是，太伤人了镜头来回在Adam和Shruti之间切换，Adam到了更fancy却鸡肋的工作环境，Shruti更亲身体验Adam从前的生活，此时歌词唱道：Everything stinksEverything’s brokeSo fuck thisI tried and I lostand everything costsSo fuck thisIt’s raining moneyIt’s raining down in buckets…I’m switching my allegianceI’m swapping sidesCos only mugs have principlesand now the privilege is mineAll aboard for moolah land (金钱岛)Working cash in handwtfAdam你不仅见利忘义你还见色忘友啊（男友）吓我一跳第七集，一切仿佛又好转了，但还是惊人地无助。

在Harry的劝说下，Adam继续做了医生，cos it is what he‘ s meant to be然后幕黑，同名曲出（是jc唱的么？

还是ba？

我没查到）期待第二季！

（如果还有的话）如果这里Adam听了Harry的劝说继续做医生的话，他还会像原著一样在2010年退出这个行业吗？

不过虽然与原著不同，但我觉得以在听证会上就Shruti的死表达他对这个国家医疗行业的不满的处理很好

从讨论里搬来的图，不过自己在观看过程中听出的曲子更有共鸣感就是了哈哈哈，也很有成就感

（原载于虹膜公众号）要说简中世界吧，很多时候还是挺好笑的，至少，要比许多所谓的喜剧片好笑。

不仅懂得把能量从负掰扯成正，而且懂得把本质从悲逆转为喜，这「大智慧」就有无与伦比的喜感。

好比戏说，可谓抓到了博古通今的历史价值。

好比阿Q，可谓摸清了翻云覆雨的现实态度。

又比如指鹿为马，把「疼痛难免」（This is going to hurt）包装成「绝对笑喷」。

亚当·凯以此为名的书，中文版叫《绝对笑喷之弃业医生日志》，封面上赫然印着「掀翻整个英国卫生部的爆笑核武」，宣传文案则是「6年221篇男妇科大夫的私密日记，风靡33国的爆笑妇科段子集锦！

3句话1个笑点，脸红心跳到根本停不下来！

这次可是真的读懂女人了！

」文案末尾提到作者致英国卫生部长的公开信，揭露医疗服务体系各种问题，转头就不无欢欣地宣示「出版当日就被部长喊去谈话了」。

也说到医者之心和珍惜生命的，但更主要是烘托「冷面笑匠」的定位。

至于在正文里「义正词严」地把亚当的同性伴侣翻译成女朋友，那更是具有本土特色的至高幽默了。

卖书真难。

但接受不同，面对伤痛，处理悲剧，看来更难。

最近，由这本书改编的七集迷你剧《疼痛难免》上线，迅速以9.4高分拿下全球口碑剧集榜冠军，这一面提高了书的曝光度，一面也让人体现到这差异之下的辛辣讽刺。

故事的主角是本·卫肖饰演虚构的亚当，一名妇产科的执行主治医师。

他夹在科室不上不下的位置，每周工作得有97小时，疲于应付各种生死攸关的任务以及上司、病患的指责，却没有足以适配的薪资待遇，而且私人生活被不断挤占，直至爱情、友情都受到威胁。

哪怕是这样沉重的故事，也确实可以充盈诙谐成色。

这主要来自于他的日常斗嘴，以及自言自语或打破第四面墙的吐槽。

譬如他跟态度不好的温妮卡太太对话，每次都在互损，对方说自己死了没人在乎，他就说狮子和魔衣橱没准会想着你呢，对方口嫌他送的酒，他就说那是新鲜的蝾螈眼泪，总在暗搓搓调侃对方是老女巫。

又或者听到家长要给三胞胎取名米莉、比利和莉莉，亚当也会嘴上说好，心中暗笑，并联想到唐老鸭的三个侄子辉儿、杜儿、路儿。

欧美影视真实的一个表现，是允许主角或一些背负道德光环的人，用某些兴许带有冒犯性质的方式来不完美。

亚当应对过许多堪称稀奇古怪的病例，比如要帮患者从下体取出各式（不乏创意）的物件时，也像在替观众念出犹如神来之笔的弹幕。

这些相当英伦的幽默，往往能带来具有余味的会心一笑。

但相比日记体的原著，剧集的段子还是少了，在抻长的医院生涯展现中，搞笑的比重是要有节制地下降的。

结合过于困苦的环境和过于端正的旁人，亚当这种小人物式的磨难，把即时的心理活动烘托出了伤痛的气氛。

不同于国内出版社，或者许多受众对于爆笑近乎病态的追逐，亚当所表现的，更像是一个人在应对压力与负面情绪时的应激反应，他不只拿这些笑话当作繁重工作的调剂，而是当作溺水时好不容易得来的一根吸管，可能否喘上一口气，还得取决于风与浪。

也就是说，这并不是以悲写喜，不是从苦难里寻找笑料，来彰显一文不值的塑料乐观。

英国人的实诚，在于明刀明枪地告诉你，疼痛就是难免的。

亚当最常对男友哈利说的一句话，就是「还好」，掩耳盗铃地隔断了交心的宽慰，最终印证了事实上「一点儿也不好」的灾难性打击。

他的崩溃过程，剧集构设得很巧妙。

在非人性的日常职场中穿梭，亚当与刚才提及的温妮卡太太之间，有一段很特别的呼应关系。

那位85岁的寡妇，从来没见过两个儿子前来探望，渐渐地把孤独中的失望表现为冷漠与毒舌。

疲惫地封闭自我的亚当在某种程度上，也是这么一匹独狼，只是表现得更有隐藏性而已。

他们每日的互损，其实夹杂着一些期盼，期盼对方在又一天把自己从麻木中激活。

那么大的医院，或者说那么大的人间，谁能想到他们才是真正知根知底的「对手」呢？

所以，当老太太濒死，亚当还曾想过枉顾她不许抢救的愿望，而即便上司禁止他过多介入病患关系，他也还是去参加了丧礼，而且郑重地带上了男友。

温妮卡之死所造成的影响很深远，相当于切断了亚当跟自我的很大一部分沟通意愿与能力。

与此同时，《疼痛难免》还布设了施芮缇一线。

她是亚当的手下，也是亚当的过往。

聪明的她需要同时招架繁重的日常工作以及备考任务，严重缺觉，身心俱疲，最终，集中爆发的抑郁症造成了无可挽回的悲剧。

在这个时候，她又成了亚当的一种未来。

而且，剧集揪心地表现出，心理疾患缠身的历史只能在这个地方不断重演，就像亚当后来说的，英国平均三周就有一位医生自杀。

很明显的一点，就是总被批评的亚当会不留情面地骂施芮缇，当后来施芮缇面对手下艾尔的时候，也无意间重复了这一套。

但她还没有彻底「亚当」化，所以还能在语气重了的时候及时刹车。

可又因为得知自己终将要变成的模样，加重了抑郁，更能印证亚当避无可避的宿命。

施芮缇极其短暂的经历，像是亚当甚至亚当们的缩写人生。

温妮卡预示的自我死亡与施芮缇预演的精神死亡，连带着真真正正的肉体死亡，把在繁重工作中还要应付上司玩弄、投诉威胁的亚当，彻底逼到了绝路边缘。

原著作者自身也患有PTSD和抑郁等心理疾病，只是在剧中，分派给了亚当和施芮缇。

他让角色跟他在现实中那样选择弃业，通过无奈的事实，来一反苦等柳暗花明的励志套路。

这部实质上贴着喜剧标签的丧剧，并没有兴趣教人化解悲恸或逆风飞翔，而是提醒人们不必一味任由外界折磨自己，甚至不要只从自己身上寻找问题的根源。

也就是说，剧集展现亚当、施芮缇这些个体在工作中分身乏术，并导致在爱情、友情等多方面全线溃败，不只是为了达到跟无数有过相似体验的观众的共鸣，而且要立体地展现一个可以说是吃人的体制。

最首要的对象，是NHS（英国国家医疗服务体系）。

这体系通过税收来保障公费医疗保健，诚然有过相当积极的影响，但是，资金匮缺、人手不足、浪费严重、效率低下，又使得服务很难跟上病患需求，而从业人员困在超负荷工作中，身心都受到严重损害，却很少有人关注，甚至不被允许自我修正调节。

公立医院条件恶劣，但是一如剧中所示，私立医院有着极其豪华的硬件配置与福利待遇，哪怕医务专业水平完全跟不上，而即便是在同一个奔忙的公立医院里，高级别医生可以油滑地躲过许多差使，来保障自己的权益。

巨大落差带来了难以逃避的剥削举动，作者以清醒的认知，引发了关于学医、从医的质疑。

他很现实地粉碎了职业光环，从最人性的角度，指出了医者仁心这种使命感下的医者不自医，指出了制度的漏洞百出只能引发越来越大范畴的恶性循环，而这才是促动卫生部长乃至全社会关注的理由。

不仅如此，他指出了吃人的并不只是垂直的医疗体系，还包括有着相似本质的社会。

因为内在慕强、攀比、趋利避害、重利轻义的环境，使得很多人从出生开始就被各种目光所绑架，亚当母亲就是一个非常突出的例子。

冰冷、畸形的亲子关系所钳制、蹂躏出来的心病，也早该引起重视了。

跳出自我审视之后，他还通过勾画形形色色病患及其家属的短暂照面，还原出现实世界的诸多面相。

各种不健康的人际关系，包括失责、漠视、功利、刻薄等等，再西方，也很容易让所有人对号入座，至于家暴、自残等需要更破解关注的普遍问题，更有痛心疾首的一段段戏剧性展示。

《疼痛难免》竭尽所能地，从一个良心医生的角度，检视下至个体感官，上至体制构建的谬误与漏洞。

它必然存在满溢的窒息感，也必然不会让普罗大众得到轻松愉悦的观赏兴头，哪怕它在软硬件上，无懈可击地抗打。

剧集主创没有一丝遮掩、粉饰的兴致，但正因为有这赤裸的勇气与道义，带给外界许多改变的倾向性与急迫感。

这无疑是场「负能量」的胜利——不是指一味怨天尤人或尖酸刻薄的糟心情状，而是指这些能让人拨云见月的视角，让人抽身重启的魄力。

既然疼痛难免，起码不该一无所得。

This Is Going to Hurt 疼痛难免，这个翻译太好了，像是提醒，又像是谶语。

1Everything is shit.Everyone is shit.我看的医疗剧极少，但是医疗剧不都是“常常治愈”的吗，这部和治愈关系不大，致郁的效果极佳。

看到类型栏的“喜剧”标签简直怀疑我的眼睛，苦笑也算笑是吧。

作者说这部剧是“一封写给NHS的情书”，依然让我惊讶，谁家情书写得这么苦涩！

真实到残酷的一部剧，好看（真实精彩）又难看（压抑致郁）。

我对《良医》的剧评是：“可能医疗剧的魅力就在于：众生皆苦，而这反而让人感到安慰。

”这部依然成立，只是更苦了。

生活太苦了，苦涩的成年人在寻找虚幻的安慰的时候都嫌“幻想太脱离现实了”、“快乐水含糖量太高了”，所以，苦涩沉重的《疼痛难免》成了“一封情书”一下子就合理了起来。

甚至让我想到《BJ单身日记》里那句超经典超让人心动的表白：“I like you very much, just as you are.”因为照见现实，因为照见自我，所以在灰暗中找到一丝亮，在苦涩中反刍出一点甜，在流泪后吐出一口气。

人生大事，生老病死，在医院是天天、时时都在上演，妇产科更是浓缩的精华。

主人公Adam就是一个悲惨又寻常的妇产科医生。

疲惫、憔悴、痛苦、煎熬、 窒息、压抑、愤怒、自责、摇摇欲坠、勉强支撑。

看起来熟悉吗？

听起来熟悉吗？

2很喜欢第三集Adam的墓地求婚。

如果众生皆苦，生命的意义是什么？

如果疼痛难免，疗愈的良方是什么？

当Adam单薄的身影摇摇晃晃走在坟墓中间时，那画面真的很美。

就像是有无形的东西在吸走Adam的生命力一样，那句英文的表达很准确——“suck life out”，后来又想，是什么呢？

工作、压力、情绪、良心……然后发现，It's life itself that sucks life out of us.每个人，活着就是要死的。

每一天，都是在走向死亡。

生命在流逝，在消耗，流完了，耗尽了，就结束了。

写到这的时候，连我自己都觉得有些太悲观虚无了，但是其实我真的不是这个意思。

生命肯定有其值得珍惜的地方，不然人间真的会空荡荡的……就是因为生活很苦，生命虚无，才更要珍惜生活里的那些小小的甜蜜和幸福，在终点之前赶紧做点什么抓住些什么，就算终将失去，哪怕终将失去，恰恰是因为终将失去。

3喜欢Adam的人，应该都会喜欢Harry吧，因为他有生命力，有光有热，有让人幸福的能力。

所以想钻进屏幕把Adam暴力摇晃：醒醒！

抓住这个男人！

所以，剧里又一个很喜欢的名场面来了，最后一集好友婚礼上他俩偷溜的身影，美得想原地给他们证婚。

在湖里的坦白，又痛又美。

无法逃避的痛苦挣扎，无比脆弱的真诚与爱。

我们所爱的、所投入、所付出的，是我们的诅咒。

《疼痛难免》《This is going to hurt》我可太喜欢小本的气质了，这部剧里又软又丧又傲娇，每天忙到疯，惨兮兮。

一直放不下心结，每天早上去找早产的婴儿谈心，好可爱，也好心疼。

也真的很喜欢Harry，温柔包容，从来不抱怨Adam的工作，知道Adam对从医还有热爱，知道他care。

他会在两人稍有争执的时候先服软然后抱抱他，会在Adam带他去参加病人葬礼之后开心的以为Adam打开了心结而接受求婚，会给Adam他最特别的戒指，会带他去就酒吧，看他不适应会陪他逃出来在外面跳舞，会一个人策划准备订婚趴，会在Adam妈妈说人都不完美的时候告诉她Adam在自己心里就是完美的。

但也是Adam性格使然，工作已经完全一团糟了还是坚持“I'm fine”，不想也不允许爱人跟自己分担。

这对Harry不公平。

分手以后，再见面时，Adam才哭着跟Harry说我的工作糟透了。

还有Shruti，看到她好像看到每天被论文折磨的我，在Adam跟Harry为数不多的温情场面的时候，镜头给到Shruti，她都还在挣扎努力。

Adam看到她会不会想，如果自己的生活也没有一点调剂，没有Harry的爱，自己会不会跟Shruti一样撑不下去。

最后最后，开放式的结局，公立医院的忙碌和制度缺陷没有变，也不知道Harry跟Adam是不是重新在一起了，Adam新一天的工作依然从惊心动魄开始。

不过Adam明星更有活力了我愿意相信在把所有话都说清楚，两人坦白交流以后，Harry肯再给两人一个机会。